I did a couple photo manipulations yesterday. It has been a while since I've done anything like that so, I'm a bit rusty. The first one, I think, says a lot about me and the second is a bit more of a "fun" one.
Well, I'm going to be taking a bit of a break while I'm getting all this BFA stuff done. I'll be back in about a week or so! Happy blogging!
-Kayla
One of my very good friends, Morgan, had a baby this weekend! I happened to be in Omak at the time so, when I went to visit her I also snapped a few pictures of her adorable newborn, Remi. She is just so adorable! She is Morgan's second, the first being Marques who is almost 2 now (wow times FLIES!). Hopefully I can take pictures of both of them some time.
I'm in a hurry to get to bed but I wanted to share these photos real quick. The first is a drawing I did tonight within in hour and the rest are my studio.
Tangles of Mess
I am officially in BFA crunch mode. For those who don't know, BFA is a Bachelor of Fine Arts, similar to a Bachelor of Arts but it is more geared toward getting into grad school and having an art career. There are also a few extra classes involved in the BFA program than the BA.
That being said, the whole process is extremely stressful. More stress? Just what I need... not.
I've been through this once before so I feel confident that I'm not going in completely blind this time (last time that was the major scary factor). The process starts with you setting up 16 of your originally pieces. They're supposed to be your best work, coherent (meaning there is a clear idea that ties all the pieces together) and there is also a guideline of what kind of work you need to have i.e. drawings, work that is for your intended major and a few of your choice. Then through out the course of 45 to 60 minutes the entire Fine Arts faculty rotates in and out of the room, looking at your work and discussing it with you. Scary.
I feel much better about my work this time around. Last time I was more or less there to see what the process was like and my work didn't have the same kind of flow I think it does now. Here are the five out of 8 pieces I am submitting that go with the "intended major" section.
In addition to these works I'm currently working on a triptych, a series of three scratchboard drawings, two large drawings, a painting, and a mess of other ideas that I have to be done with by October 17.
I feel like my artwork is more personal that it was before. Most of what I've been doing lately relates to my faith, my culture or just some of the thoughts I have on different things. So, hopefully the faculty will see that as well.
Also, I just want to say thank you to everyone who gave their support, kind words and thoughts of encouragement on my last post. It means a great deal to me.
-Kayla
For 14 years I've struggled with the same thing. The not understanding, the mystery that is so personal, so in your face. Why have I never been able to crack this code to stop this struggle? I've asked myself this many times through out the years.
I always come to the same conclusion. My struggles in life are something that made me who I am. They shaped me into a person that I like even if I don't like the shell of this person. But telling myself this and actually believing it are two different things. But, then today I heard a woman with something far worse that what I struggle with. She has cerebral palsy and calls it her gift from God. An ailment that is a gift from God? I'm not sure if I quite understood in that moment. But as I sit and ponder it now, her situation, my situation. The two shouldn't even compare yet I can find my own meaning in her words.
God made me this way for a reason. I've gone through struggles for a reason. Good things have come out of it and yet I sit selfishly hating myself. Because of all of this I met Tohny, I discovered and pursued talents I have, and I've wanted to intellectually make myself a better person.
For those who have never been gone through what I and many others go through, it seems selfish and simple. Being overweight is more complicated than it seems, though I will agree it is selfish. It is something that is extremely hard to quite, like a bad addiction. Only with this addiction, you can't cut it out of your life completely. If food is the reason why you're overweight, then you can't eliminate it completely.
I've gone through many stages with this "condition." I've been confused, hurt, angry, selfish, I've felt sorry for myself, I've asked God why and I've even not cared. But what I've never been able to reach is the stage where I cast out those feelings and do something about it. My self esteem is low, as is my ambition. I stay at home because I can't stand the thought of being around people. You know, art doesn't care what I look like. I can do a piece of art and no one has to see me. Perhaps that is why I've found more success at it than anything else because it was something where I didn't need to be seen.
But, I feel a change coming. Bursting inside of me. I can't handle it anymore and I know where to look for guidance. I need to give my concerns, my doubts, everything that is holding me back from being a healthy and happy person to God and ask Him that it be his will to change my life in this way. Ask Him to give me the strength, the courage and the ambition to do what needs to be done.
I feel uneasy about opening up about this on my blog but I think its something that I need to say. Something that I need to talk about. I cannot ignore it any longer, I have to face who I am. Actually, I have to realize that this isn't who I am. Being overweight does not define me. I am not some one who cowers down to anything so why have I cowered down to myself? I have to stop talking and start doing. This is a priority over everything.
I have considered documenting my goals but I don't know if I will. I'm not sure I am fully comfortable with it and I don't want to start and fail.
Ah, I mustn't be afraid of failing either.
I may or may not talk about this again on here. But if you read it, I thank you for taking the time.
-Kayla
I'm so excited that I finally got a new lens! I've been itching for one for a while now. Its a Canon EF 50mm f/1.8 II and its really good for portraits. I took a few self portraits because once again, there is no one around for me to take a picture of! I did bring my camera with me to class today and got a couple pictures of people painting. But, I really wish I could have taken pictures of the cutest little boys that came into the Museum today. Adorable!
Here are the self portraits (plus a couple of our neighbor's cat Cleo):
I have to say, this one is starting to grow on me a bit. I didn't care for it when I first took it.
I think this one is my favorite.. especially as far as editing goes.
And now Cleo! Cleo comes to my apartment window all the time looking for some love. I've had to give up going out and petting her because I'm too tempted to let her into my apartment (her owners never let her in, I swear!). So, now I just talk to her through the window and she screams at me..
I'm slowly getting my apartment decorated so I'll probably have some pictures of what I've been doing. I put up some crow/blackbird/raven decals last night that I made. I have a very crappy cell phone picture that I can show but I promise to take a better one later.
And something on the funnier side.. I work at the Museum of Art here at WSU as a gallery attendant. Well, some times it can be pretty boring when no one is coming into the gallery. So a girl I work with and I made some pencil sculptures last night. Here's mine:
It was pretty epic. Haha!
This turned into kind of a long post.. sheesh. Well I better get going, I have lots to do today.
Later, Alligator!
..I wish I would have ordered more!!!
I LOVE love the fabric I got, I'm very very excited. I'm absolutely going to buy at least a yard of one of them when I can. The color is slightly off here and there but I expected that and it looks equally as good as the designs that I made.
I also went to Palouse today which is a small town about fifteen minutes from Pullman. They were having some sort of festival and Tohny and I won a ten dollar gift certificate for any of the stores downtown. Now, because all that is in Palouse is thrift stores and antique stores, you can image my happiness.. :) haha
So, here are the things I found in Palouse today...
A very comfy green satin pillow...
A little framed print of a siamese cat that I couldn't possibly pass up...
Master Lambton and Miss Murray-Lawrence respectively... Their names are actually stamped on the back of these frames! Too cute!...
And my favorite Edgar.
Well I'm off to do some relaxing and maybe some cleaning.. maybe not.
Bad Omen, Scratchboard 8x10
Okay, I'm going to venture out into a topic that I love and am very interested in, but don't usually talk about. Politics and religion.
As you can see on the left side of my blog, I am Conservative, Christian conservative actually. I have very strong beliefs and convictions but I also respect other's political views. I've never had a friend in my life who has agreed with me on politics or on religion and that is fine with me. I think God puts people in our lives for a reason and if the friendship doesn't feel wrong, why spoil it because they don't agree with you on things?
I think that is the best part about this country, being able to express our views to one another. If I lived in any other country I might not be able to even write this blog. Why is it some people cannot see that? See through all the disagreements and arguments and realize we live in the best country in the world. I don't care if you think George Bush is an idiot or you love him to death, or if you think the Iraq War is a mistake. Thats fine, but don't tell me that our country has gone south and needs saving. I love my country, I'm damn lucky to have been born here and I think thats something we all need to remember no matter what.
Now, I didn't know who these "Code Pink" women were until last week. My mom wrote about them on her blog and it saddens me to see that some are being disrespectful to her because of her opinion. They're simply looking for a fight. Isn't life too short to be constantly fighting with one another? There is a difference between holding up and sign and being disrespectful while some one is speaking. I wouldn't wish it on Obama either.
Another good example is something that I see quite often, unfortunately. Here at WSU, we get handed a lot of things while on campus from different organizations. The Christian Crusaders where handing out those small bibles that have Genesis, the Gospels and Revelations in them. In the next few weeks I saw these bibles littered around the art building for the use of "art." They were torn up, glued, and just destroyed for no reason. As a Christian it made me very sad and disappointed that some one would treat something that I hold so dear, as if it were nothing. I mentioned this to one of my friends who is not Christian and she said to me, "You wouldn't care if it were the Koran or something." I told her that was absolutely not true and I would be just as upset. I understand having faith in something that is bigger than ourselves and I whole heartily respect other's beliefs as long as they're not harmful to other people.
The election process is something that should be exciting and fun. Instead, more and more, I see people bickering, fighting, disrespect and people just being plain mean. How are we ever going to accomplish great things if we can't agree on at least ONE thing?
I can't stand it when people preach to me about peace and understanding when they are not willing to do it themselves. I've read a lot of things about the "Code Pink" women and most of all I feel sorry for them. I feel sorry for them because they're not able to understand that what they're doing most of the time is counterproductive.
I try to be as understanding of other's opinions as I can because it is not good to sit in a bubble and only listen to yourself. You don't have to agree with everyone but just let them speak, listen to them and then make up your mind. We will never be able to grow as individuals or grow intellectually if we focus solely on ourselves.
Like I said, I'm very firm in my Christian and Conservative values and beliefs but, I do not tell others they are wrong or try and shove my beliefs down their throats. I think the best way to show God's message is to live the way Jesus lived and that means to love everyone, no matter who they are or what they believe.
So, if you want to disagree with me thats wonderful. Our country is great enough and we're free enough that you can do that. All I ask is to be shown the respect that I try and show others every day.
I've never embroidered in my life. Ever. But I've really been wanting to try it and a lazy Sunday seemed like the perfect day! So, I brought out some cross stitching and embroidering things that were once Tohny's mema's and a hoop that I had from a different project and gave it a go!
The only thread I had was a bright red so I decided to do a tree (surprise, surprise). I think I'll make it into a pillow...
I have no idea if the "stitch" I did is an actual stitch or if I completely made it up, haha. But, it seemed to work!
After I was all finished, I tea dyed it, cooked it for a bit in the oven, hand washed it and then let it air dry. I think it was a pretty successful first time embroidering. Definitely something I can bring with me to do while I sit in the gallery for a couple hours.
I've been doing a lot of little "home" projects lately. I also starting painting my desk today the same green color as the cabinet. I'll be sure to show that when I'm actually done with it. For now, I'm going to have to find something else to do... :)
